I really don’t know how to feel right now. Actually, I’ve been feeling this way for a real long time but it’s just that the news has triggered a heightened awareness that has kicked in even more than usual. I tell myself at every open opportunity not to invest so much but I always forget. The lull of the quiet moment I blame, every single time. But yet, the feeling doesn’t seem less acute than the last. The hollowness, the emptiness, I’m not supposed to be feeling all these but I am and it frightens me to no end. What if, at the end of it all, I’m left with nothing that really matters. And the mere thought of that frightens me even more. And so letting go gets so much harder, so much more painful that digging a hole in the ground and stuffing my heart in seems like a futile effort of running away.
Is everyone moving except me? I’ve been standing in the same spot for the last 8 years. Why has no one found me? Am I in the wrong spot or have you forgotten about me?
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